DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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