at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
