Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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