I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
