My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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