why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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