in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
