she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
