every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
