i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
time to smoke my breakfast
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
