I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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