Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
