I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
