dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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