i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
