You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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