Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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