I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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