They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
