I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
COCAINE IS GR8
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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