med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
