my mouth tastes like poor choices
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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