Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
