Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
