If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
