i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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