that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
