; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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