New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
