I'm drive I can fine osifer
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
