Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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