Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
