i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
