Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Drunk is not a location!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
