And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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