hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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