Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
