What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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