Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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