Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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