my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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