We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
