i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My room smells like vodka and shame
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
