Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You've changed since you got that strap on
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
