Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
