he shaved USA in his pubs
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Please don't give away my fajitas
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