I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
