I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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