I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
