My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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