I want to have your abortion
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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