I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
